Cooking for one sucks.

Wooing, thanks for sharing your words of misery. That's why we're friends. And, tell Husband that I refuse to refer to him as WealthyBigPenis ... I could barely even type that. Hold on ... I had an involuntary gag reflex.

Alright, I'm back and will try to erase that horrid image from my mind.

Oh, our dear friend Happy Blind Bat ... haha. Excellent choice for our funny friend. SO many stories to blog about ... we should do a Top Ten Favorite Happy Blind Bat Moments! I don't know if I can just pick one favorite story of mine ... there is just an endless arsenal of funny when Happy Blind Bat is in the neighborhood. Vomit-on-pants-so-had-to-smell-to-verify-vomit definitely makes the top ten.

THAT couple was indeed at the surprise birthday dinner. Still in the honeymoon phase, I suspect. So, natch, I can't stand to be around them too long for fear that I may be cornered by the male and told yet another love story. While well-intentioned, telling stories of how he fell in love as a means to let me know that I will find love in my future is just down right cruel. Seriously?? Because the problem is I just don't want to let love in my life?? Yeeeaaahhh riiiighht. Deep breaths ... in and out ... deep breaths ... think happy thoughts ... happy thoughts. Good thing I don't hit small people (that was a joke people, relax).

You know what else is terrible? Cooking for one person. I mean, how do you cook a single-serving meal? You can't, that's how. Because recipes never are made for one serving ... its always "serves 4-6 people." So, I baked a delicious lasagna today ... and yes, it was in fact delicious. How do I know? Because I said so and food is my specialty. My kitchen skills far exceed my IT skills. Anyway, I digress ... the point is, I ate one piece of lasagna and now have to force myself to eat the entire lasagna for the rest of the week. That's a whole lotta lasagna.

OH, and Ann Coulter is the devil. For real's. The devil is a blonde skinny white chick. Though, is it weird that I hella enjoy Rod Blagojevich? That guy's cuckoo is way out of the clock ... I mean, dude just got impeached and he ended the press conference with a poetry quote. LOVE HIM. Hmm, this may say a lot about my taste in men.