As we all know, I was the recipient of a lovely counter-top deep fryer not too long ago and just dang lost my mind going into a frying frenzy. It was way sick, and "sick" not in a good way like the kids talk these days. I ate fried chicken everyday for a week and probably cut off two years of my life because of this.
On top the whole clogging artery thing, I ended up getting a pimple right on the outside of my lip ... pretty gross, eh? Yes, the nasty oil drippings of fried chicken caused a pimple near my mouth. Yeah, yeah, I'm disgusting ... deal with it.
As if this isn't bad enough, it gets SO much worse. I'm pretty vain and at the first sign of a possible pimple, I go into like DEFCON 5 on this bitch ... I mean, I'm attacking this bad boy with Pro Activ, Murad spot treatment, Mario Badescu drying lotion ... the whole effin shebang. I'm already thinking people are staring at this ginormous volcano of a pimple, so I also start to get very paranoid. Not good, friendo.
So, I arrive in San Francisco and am pretty excited to spend some time with Whitestar. You know what he says to me? "DUDE, YOU GOT HERPS." Aw, the love of my life ... he sure does have a way with words, eh?
Which leads me to the conclusion that when a pimple gets mistaken for herpes, its probably time to go on a rapid diet. I'm thinking a master cleanse will do me some good. I lasted about three days the last time I tried this and I was Crankmaster General to the tenth degree. Basically, you're on notice ... if these posts start to become noticeably more aggressive, impatient and angry, it means I'm on the cleanse and will not re-emerge until I regain my sanity (i.e., eat solid food again).
Wish me luck.
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