While I am unemployed and broke, the upside to my dismal state is that I get to watch Oprah all the time. Today's topic? How do we pick our mates?
Interestingly, turns out that being on birth control is inhibiting my ability to find the right mate! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT SHIT?!? I spend all these years trying to avoid the accidental knock up until I find the love of my life, and it turns out the pill is actually prohibiting me from finding that love of my life ... *sigh* ... the story of my life, friends.
Apparently, I'm more attractive to men when I am ovulating because I give off certain hormones that tell men I'm ready for procreation ... which apparently is a hot thing and brings out the animalistic side of men to want me. The fancy pants word: reproductive viability. BUT, the pill alters my hormones and so I'm not giving off those all important phermones. AND, on top of it, the pill also prohibits my ability to DETECT the "right" scents of my mates.
Bottom line? Basic survivor skills: I am supposed to be attracted to hormones that are the opposite of mine so as to create a better genetic offspring. The damn pill instead causes me to be attracted to scents that are similar to mine, which studies have found led to MORE INFIDELITY AND MARITAL DISCORD. Finally, a scientific explanation for all my crappy relationships!
Does this mean that I'm attracted to losers because I'm a loser? Or does this mean I have to get off the pill?
Interestingly, turns out that being on birth control is inhibiting my ability to find the right mate! CAN YOU BELIEVE THAT SHIT?!? I spend all these years trying to avoid the accidental knock up until I find the love of my life, and it turns out the pill is actually prohibiting me from finding that love of my life ... *sigh* ... the story of my life, friends.
Apparently, I'm more attractive to men when I am ovulating because I give off certain hormones that tell men I'm ready for procreation ... which apparently is a hot thing and brings out the animalistic side of men to want me. The fancy pants word: reproductive viability. BUT, the pill alters my hormones and so I'm not giving off those all important phermones. AND, on top of it, the pill also prohibits my ability to DETECT the "right" scents of my mates.
Bottom line? Basic survivor skills: I am supposed to be attracted to hormones that are the opposite of mine so as to create a better genetic offspring. The damn pill instead causes me to be attracted to scents that are similar to mine, which studies have found led to MORE INFIDELITY AND MARITAL DISCORD. Finally, a scientific explanation for all my crappy relationships!
Does this mean that I'm attracted to losers because I'm a loser? Or does this mean I have to get off the pill?
2009 is proving to be the worst year ever ... and its only the beginning of April.
yay i'm glad you're back. i thought the blog was abandoned!
ReplyDeletethis birth control thing is pretty funny. does that mean i should have stuck with my high school boyfriends when I was pre-pill? I think it could have been disastrous!
Sorry, I've been behind on my reading. Uh... this is TOTALLY ridiculous and non-sensical (if that's even a word). About 95% of grown women are on the Pill, but yet they manage to find mates. Was this a theory by crazy Dr. Oz??
ReplyDelete