Need a good chuckle?

I received this from Whitestar awhile back, and it ALWAYS makes me laugh out loud. I must have read this 100 times already, and it really is funny each and every time. HAPPY FRIDAY!!


Below is the complete email conversation that Adelaide man David Thorne claims he had with a utility company chasing payment of an overdue bill.

From: Jane Gilles
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.19pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Our records indicate that your account is overdue by the amount of $233.95. If you have already made this payment please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Wednesday 8 Oct 2008 12.37pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
I do not have any money so am sending you this drawing I did of a spider instead. I value the drawing at $233.95 so trust that this settles the matter.

Regards, David.




From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.07am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Overdue account

Dear David,
Thankyou for contacting us. Unfortunately we are unable to accept drawings as payment and your account remains in arrears of $233.95. Please contact us within the next 7 days to confirm payment has been applied to your account and is no longer outstanding.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 10.32am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,
Can I have my drawing of a spider back then please.

Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.42am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear David,
You emailed the drawing to me. Do you want me to email it back to you?

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 11.56am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Dear Jane,

Yes please.

Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Thursday 9 Oct 2008 12.14pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Overdue account

Attached




From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 09.22am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Whose spider is that?

Dear Jane, Are you sure this drawing of a spider is the one I sent you? This spider only has seven legs and I do not feel I would have made such an elementary mistake when I drew it.

Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.03am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David, Yes it is the same drawing. I copied and pasted it from the email you sent me on the 8th. David your account is still overdue by the amount of $233.95. Please make this payment as soon as possible.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.05am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Automated Out of Office Response

Thank you for contacting me. I am currently away on leave, traveling through time and will be returning last week.

Regards, David.


From: David Thorne
Date: Friday 10 Oct 2008 11.08am
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Hello, I am back and have read through your emails and accept that despite missing a leg, that drawing of a spider may indeed be the one I sent you. I realise with hindsight that it is possible you rejected the drawing of a spider due to this obvious limb ommission but did not point it out in an effort to avoid hurting my feelings. As such, I am sending you a revised drawing with the correct number of legs as full payment for any amount outstanding. I trust this will bring the matter to a conclusion.

Regards, David.



From: Jane Gilles
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 2.51pm
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Dear David, As I have stated, we do not accept drawings in lei of money for accounts outstanding. We accept cheque, bank cheque, money order or cash. Please make a payment this week to avoid incurring any additional fees.

Yours sincerely, Jane Gilles


From: David Thorne
Date: Monday 13 Oct 2008 3.17pm
To: Jane Gilles
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

I understand and will definately make a payment this week if I remember. As you have not accepted my second drawing as payment, please return the drawing to me as soon as possible. It was silly of me to assume I could provide you with something of completely no value whatsoever, waste your time and then attach such a large amount to it.

Regards, David.


From: Jane Gilles
Date: Tuesday 14 Oct 2008 11.18am
To: David Thorne
Subject: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Whose spider is that?

Attached

On the next episode of Law & Order ...

I hate to get on my high horse, but I need to do some serious venting on the baby factory woman. HuffPo and CBS have released more details on the lady and her new village:

• Mystery momma recently declared bankruptcy


• Family already abandoned another home (implication is that this was due to the aforementioned bankruptcy)


• Babies were conceived via IVF


• No word on when she'll visit Maury

My issue doesn't have to do with the absence of a baby daddy ... shizz, sometimes I think we'd all be better off without the deadbeat dads. My problem is that we are living in an era of total irresponsibility!! First we hear about them wallstreet crooks giving themselves billions in bonuses while at the same time asking for government TARP money, and now a woman who has declared bankruptcy and lives at home with her parents purposely having 8 more babies to add to the 6 she already has. What's wrong with this picture??!!??

I feel like this is an episode of Law & Order: SVU (which, by the way, is one of the BEST shows on TV today). I bet the twist is that the grandfather is a secret millionaire who forcefully implanted his seeds into his sweet, innocent, baby girl. Ugh, so sick ... and probably already a story line from another episode.

OR SHE'S DOING THIS TO GET MONEY FROM THE FERTILITY PROGRAM?? Maybe the twist is that there's a cuckoo lab that is doing weird scientific experiments regarding IVF, and the poor woman who was so desperate for money got paid to be experimented on?? Again, I suspect this is also already a Law & Order: SVU episode.

Anyway, here's the story without all my unnecessary commentary:

I guess government bailout is the new hot trend.

Peace Out Blago!

Nah nah nah nah hey hey hey GOOOOOOODDD BYYYYEEEE!

I'm kinda sad that this may be the last we see of my most favorite political laughingstock of all time. Poor Blagojevich got impeached today for trying to sell Obama's Senate seat ... hey, a man's gotta make a quick buck any way he can in this wretched economy.

See ya Blago ... your crazy ass will be missed.

Speaking of paternity tests ...

Dude, did you hear the latest saga re the octuplets born here in Cali? THE LADY'S ALREADY GOT SIX OTHER KIDS. Yowzers.

Eight in one birthing session is no accident, my friends! And did you see the house the baby-making-machine lives in? According to this news segment, houses in this area consist of 2 or 3 bedrooms. Lawd above, where is she going to put those children??!!?? I hope she's a secret millionaire or has got a book deal in the works. For reals.

I've been hearing lots of harsh criticisms regarding the absence of a father in this baby drama, so I suspect there will be more sordid details waiting to emerge. Cue the right-wing crazies because if this lady is a minority chick, there will be mobs with torches screaming to bring back sterilization for those damn welfare chickenheads. Seriously!! I've also got five on it that if she's a cute religious white girl that the same right-wing crazies will be loudly applauding her for her fervent pro-life stance. Gotta love the hypocrisy! And, please, do not get me started on the ZERO Republican support for the Obama stimulus plan ... bipartisanship must be a working theory. Sorry, I digress ...

Here's the CBS report on our mystery woman:

Is it wrong that I love Maury?

I know, multiple posts from me today, but SO much to discuss in the world of pop culture. In particular, my favorite YOU-ARE-NOT-THE-FATHER host, Maury Povich.

The best part? Maury says the guest's name is FOREVER, but that she is called FO-EVA. haha. Oh my gawd, I almost peed in my pants.

Best episode of baby daddy search so far!!

COOLEST. PRESIDENT. EVER.

Seriously, I love me some Barack Obama!! The President is most definitely down.

Check this video that was posted on HuffPo where he does the Beyonce-Single-Ladies hand flip ... soooo cute.

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/01/28/obama-tells-beyonce-he-li_n_161978.html

I'M BAAAACCCCKKK!!

Sorry for the absence, but lots of activity this week coupled with major pity party for myself. But all is good again.

Two things:

1. I am now the proud owner of a deep fryer. Yay for me.

2. I was in Vegas this weekend for a bachelorette party, and my choices of activity on Saturday afternoon were either workout or look at engagement rings. I'm not kidding! Now, I know I should be gracious and do whatever the bach party wants to do, but seriously?? So basically, my choices were a reminder that I'm fat and should workout or that I'm a spinster because no engagement rings are in my near future. Double yay for me.

Other news? Well, in spite of my better judgment, I saw Blackstar today. And so began the downward spiral towards low self-esteem. Sweet.

Plus, I read my horoscope on Yahoo the other day only to find out that I will have 8 UNFAVORABLE months and 4 NEUTRAL months. What does this mean? This means that I have nothing to look forward to but shitty months and shittier months. Awesome.

I'm gonna pop a pill and go to sleep. Is it wrong that I'm calling it a day, and it's only 5 pm? *sigh*

I think I will call this double victory for me, as it is clear that I have totally won as the biggest loser today.

Lovely.