Mad Monday Drama!

It's Monday, right? Lawdy-lawdy, there sure is a lot to discuss today!

First, back to the baby-making machine, Nadya Suleman. NBC aired the rest of the wack job's interview with Ann Curry, which I've posted so you can really see the crazy.

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AND THE BABIES. Poor things. Can you imagine having nutty Nadya as your moms? Seriously, she's got the "if you look at me wrong, I'll cut you" eyes. Scary. And weird.

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OH, BUT THAT'S NOT THE END OF IT!! Grandma put her daughter on blast, for reals. Not to be outdone by the Today show, Good Morning America scored this exclusive interview with Grandma.



Is it just me or does Grandma seem like she's missing a screw too?

Maury, you better get on this stat. Nothing would make me happier than to have a special EIGHT part series (get it? EIGHT ... alright, lame joke alert) on his award winning series "YOU ARE NOT THE FATHER!" focusing on the Suleman saga.

Home sweet home!

Yay! Back in the city of angels, and back to my own bed. My glorious 1200 thread count sheets with no nasty man sweat. Where I don't have to be paranoid about which pillow is what, because in my own bed, I know that I can freely put my head on any pillow I want without worrying about getting pimples.

Yeah, totally not ready to move in with a man. OR move in with a man, but be prepared to do a lot of laundry with lots of sets of sheets so I can change them daily. Eh, neither sound that great right at this moment.

So, today was the first shower of the weekend. As you know, lucky me gets to attend a baby shower today and a bridal shower tomorrow. Woo-hoo! A reminder that my eggs are dying and that I'm two shakes from being a spinster ... I can't think of a better way to spend my time. I kid, I kid!

Our knocked up friend, Mama Philly Pinot, has to be the most adorable pregnant lady around. Like so adorable that you want to hate her but you can't cuz ... you guessed it ... she's adorable. Her husband, McDreamy, is almost as bad ... I mean, equally adorable. When asked if Mama Philly Pinot was turning into a nightmare from the parasite growing within, McDreamy was all "Nooooo, she's been great ... no problems at all." And when I asked Mama Philly Pinot whether she's had crazy cravings, she replied with "not really, just McFlurries." Mc-fricken-flurries! I was hoping for something like kimchi with shrimp paste over rocky road ice cream ... but, nah, she came at me with McFlurries. See? Adorable. Ick.

Anyway, it is Grammy weekend here in la la land which means the skanky-wanky-hos are out in full force searching for their next baby daddy. Is it wrong that I'm a little glad that it has been raining on and off all day? Nothing makes me feel better than seeing a half-naked club chick try to look cute walking in stilettos in the rain while trying to protect her hair.

Stimulate the economy already!

Alright, I've tried really really REALLY hard to avoid a post on my rantings of the latest and greatest stimulus plan, but since the Senate appears to have FINALLY agreed on some kind of package, I thought we were on our way to righteous recovery and I could move on to a celebratory toast to an actual functioning Congress.

So wrong. So very wrong. Very very wrong. Did I mention how wrong I was?

According to my main man, the economic guru and Nobel Prize Winner Paul Krugman, we're not spending enough! You read correctly: we're not spending enough! The whole point of a stimulus plan is to infuse the market with money (i.e., spending) so that products are bought, people keep their jobs making more products, and use their well-earned salaries on buying other products, which keep other people employed making other said products, who in turn use their salaries to buy other other products, and yada yada yada ... and BOOM goes the dynamite. Market eventually stabilizes and we're all happy again in the land of Oz.

But when the dude that wins the Nobel Prize in economics says that our so-called leaders in the Senate cut the very portions of the stimulus we actually do need to save our bankrupt states, we are in bad shape friends. How do I know this? Because Krugman says in the New York Times that "THIS IS REALLY, REALLY BAD." No hidden message here.

Here's Krugman's post in its entirety, in case you want to read the dismal news with your own peepers: http://krugman.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/02/07/what-the-centrists-have-wrought/

So what if he's gay?!?

Look, I just don't know what the big deal is. So what if Jonathan Knight is gay? He's still part of the best boy band that there ever was. I mean, really? Jon-Jon's gayness doesn't make the music any less catchy, so let's just move on, no?

But, the blogosphere is on fire with recent news of scumbag Jon-Jon's ex-boyfriend who sold the lovey dovey pictures to the tabloids, and has given an interview to the OG of tabloids, the National Enquirer.

(picture from http://www.dailystab.com/nkotb-jonathan-knight-gay/)

The real lesson here? Quit the PDA, don't take pictures of yourselves all in love with some douchebag (male or female), and definitely don't make any sex tapes. Cuz you might be famous one day, or in this case, make a come back, and then where will you be?

Feastin' at Farmer Brown

After a few days of doing absolutely nothing, I ventured out last night to meet the girls for dinner at Farmer Brown in San Francisco. Unlike Vegas two weeks ago, people weren't afraid to grub and practically everyone ordered the fried chicken. Delicious, as usual.

A couple of things I learned from my married/pregnant/disgustingly-in-love/living-in-Australian-paradise friends (and, remind me to not hang out with them when I'm feeling particularly bitter):

1. Being preggers is a lot like how I feel while unemployed and depressed: tired and fat. At least I can still get drunk so I got that going for me, which is nice.

2. Whitestar and Blackstar are both cynical and slightly dick-ish. And while I complain about them all the time, I will easily choose this over Ms. Ozzie Ozzie Oy Oy's over-the-top-blindly-optimistic-quote-citing-machine-do-gooder-of-a-boyfriend who wears sunglasses at night. Sorry, its true. I guess this must mean I am also a dick. Oh well, did I mention I can still get drunk?

3. Sephora-tastic's stories of her alleged "fight" with Ice Man are crap. If there is no door slamming, cursing, or where you have seriously considered choking him in his sleep, then you have not been in a fight. Plus, the fact that we have to discuss whether your misunderstanding constitutes a fight, means that it is not a fight. Stay in your happy world, Sephora-tastic! No need to create or assume drama where none exists. And, please, come correct the next time you want to describe a "fight" to garner sympathy.

All in all, a fun filled night of laughter with the girlies.

I'm heading back to LA and back to my life at the crack of dawn. Ick ... morning flights are all bad, but better than flying out on Friday nights. Guess what I have to look forward to this weekend? Baby shower, followed by a bridal shower, and capped off with Grammy traffic and video hos. Woo-hoo! (read: sarcasm).

TIME TO PUT THE CUCKOO BACK IN THE CLOCK

Uh, anyone see the Today show interview with Ann Curry and Nadya Suleman, i.e., the crazy woman who doesn't think she's crazy? Well, here it is for your viewing and judgmental pleasure:

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I'm sorry but homegirl says that she will not accept welfare and that she's gonna somehow live on love. Hm, love don't pay the rent lady. OH WAIT, YOU DON'T PAY RENT BECAUSE YOU LIVE AT HOME WITH YOUR PARENTS! And, right, you don't pay bills and since you don't have a job, you had to file for bankruptcy. I get it ... "love" somehow makes being utterly useless acceptable these days?

And, I don't know about you, but crazy Suleman claims that she had helluv kids because she came from a dysfunctional family. I'm assuming she's talking about her own mom and pops, and if that's true, then why is grandma and grandpa (aka the reason for her dysfunctional family) now taking care of all the kids?

Oh, and I forgot the best part. She's gonna go back to school ... um, okay ... stay with me on this. She has 14 kids under 8, does not have a job, refuses on "principle" to accept welfare (because that's beneath her apparently), and now wants to be a student? Because being a student is lucrative? Either this lady is an evil genius, or she is seriously mental.

I know, I know. It is an early morning rant, but seriously!! Crazy Suleman better use her worthless PR people to get her some endorsements or tabloid money, cuz there's no way in hell she can pull the "love" card at the market.

My two favorite topics: Obama and dogs!

US Weekly has some excerpts from Obama's interview with Anderson Cooper about the incoming First Dog for the First Family's cutie patooties, also known as Malia and Sasha. Looks like a puppy will be peeing and pooping in the Oval Office come spring! http://www.usmagazine.com/news/barack-obama-first-dog-coming-in-the-spring

I love love love dogs, and one of my favorite sites to look for dogs to adopt are Perfect Pet Rescue in Los Angeles at http://www.perfectpetrescue.com/. I also occasionally search through the Pasadena Humane Society's website too for doggies at http://www.phsspca.org/view_pets.htm. Because I firmly believe I was a gypsy in my former life, and because I am never in one place for more than a 2 week period, I'm not responsible enough to have a furry creature to myself. I will have to continue my love affair with these animals from afar. *sigh*

Here is my favorite dog, who is currently available for adoption through Perfect Pet Rescue. She's a lady, but I'd really want to name her Maynard ... gawd, she's so fricken cute.

Mr. President, don't you think your girlies would adore this furball?