No Effin Way ... I'm Speechless.

I don't know what to say ... this is so fricken crazy!! Can it be true??!!??

I was reading through TMZ and Perez Hilton, and both have posted pictures of the alleged assault on Rihanna by Chris Brown. Holy shizz. Seriously, Chris? What the hell is wrong with you??!!??

Lock him up! And, please please PUH-LEASE Rihanna, do not take that fool back. I know the rumors are already circulating that you've forgiven, but please don't let that be true. You are an international superstar!! If you get back with this douchebag, what does that mean for us hoi polloi??!!??

Rihanna, you are better than this. Keep ya head up and know that the world's got your back.

WOW! Playboy's got good photographers.

I was on Perez Hilton this morning and he's posted a picture of Ms. Aubrey O'Day on the upcoming cover of Playboy. Holy cow, she looks good.

Whitestar has a subscription to Playboy, and I get more excited to receive the magazine than he does! And I don't pretend to read the articles ... I am mainly interested in looking at the pictures. It definitely serves as good motivation to hit the gym.

Major props to the photographers over at the mag, cuz Aubrey is skank-o-licious and if they made her look that AMAZING, we all have hope.

Are you kidding me, Chris Brown?

As it is Mad Monday Drama, turns out that R&B superstar Chris Brown did not want to feel left out and felt the need to one up the octuplets scoop. So he beat on Rihanna. I guess that's one way to become the talk of the town.

(picture from Celebrity Vibe and TMZ.com)

Word on the blogosphere from TMZ to Media Takeout to Perez Hilton are all reporting that the woman who called cops in the wee hours of Sunday morning (and whose name LAPD did not disclose) claiming that Brown assaulted her was none other than Rihanna!! Holy.Cow.WTF?!? So both were no-shows at the Grammys, Brown turns himself into the cops, gets released on bail, and everyone has now gone into their respective bomb shelters ... who knows when they'll re-emerge. What does this mean for us? Lots of speculation, innuendos, and rumors.

Chris, Chris, Chris. Really??? Why oh why? You have money, you have fame, and you have a hot girlfriend. I always wanna choke someone, but dang ... show some restraint cuz you'll lose it all in a hot second of rage.

I already had to forgive Clinton for Monica, Kobe for his Colorado bimbo, and T.I. for arming himself with AK-47s allegedly to protect himself. I can't take another idiot.