RIHANNA, You Are An Idiot.

Are you kidding me, Rihanna??? After receiving a beat down from Chris Brown, you're going back to him? WHY?!? I tried not to believe the earlier reports, but now there are pics of you and Chris getting on and off a private jet TOGETHER?

(report and picture from TMZ.com)

Lady, I just don't get it. You're hot. You're rich. You have millions of adoring fans. And, did I mention you're rich? So, what's the problem here? Why would you want to publicly humiliate yourself while disappointing your millions of adoring fans and asking to get another beating? Cuz, we all know that this isn't the first time and it sure isn't going to be the last time his fist makes contact with your face. If this is the road you intend to head down, I suggest you get insurance on that money maker of yours stat.

Look, I don't know if the rumors are true, but Rihanna, if you're preggers ... you don't need Chris Brown to raise your kid. Even crazy ass Nadya Suleman who is BROKE and mentally unstable thinks she can raise 14 kids alone. Rihanna, I'm pretty sure you can handle one baby with the 4 nannies that you can afford to hire. It'll be alright so suck it up.

No Effin Way ... I'm Speechless.

I don't know what to say ... this is so fricken crazy!! Can it be true??!!??

I was reading through TMZ and Perez Hilton, and both have posted pictures of the alleged assault on Rihanna by Chris Brown. Holy shizz. Seriously, Chris? What the hell is wrong with you??!!??

Lock him up! And, please please PUH-LEASE Rihanna, do not take that fool back. I know the rumors are already circulating that you've forgiven, but please don't let that be true. You are an international superstar!! If you get back with this douchebag, what does that mean for us hoi polloi??!!??

Rihanna, you are better than this. Keep ya head up and know that the world's got your back.

Don't Look If You're Eating.

I saw this on TMZ and found it highly disturbing. Is it wrong that I think pregnancies like these are gross? Which, natch, will mean that should I ever spawn, I will look like this ... and probably worse. And, I probably will be carrying only one demon child, not eight.

Ew. Cover that shizz up, please.

Are you kidding me, Chris Brown?

As it is Mad Monday Drama, turns out that R&B superstar Chris Brown did not want to feel left out and felt the need to one up the octuplets scoop. So he beat on Rihanna. I guess that's one way to become the talk of the town.

(picture from Celebrity Vibe and TMZ.com)

Word on the blogosphere from TMZ to Media Takeout to Perez Hilton are all reporting that the woman who called cops in the wee hours of Sunday morning (and whose name LAPD did not disclose) claiming that Brown assaulted her was none other than Rihanna!! Holy.Cow.WTF?!? So both were no-shows at the Grammys, Brown turns himself into the cops, gets released on bail, and everyone has now gone into their respective bomb shelters ... who knows when they'll re-emerge. What does this mean for us? Lots of speculation, innuendos, and rumors.

Chris, Chris, Chris. Really??? Why oh why? You have money, you have fame, and you have a hot girlfriend. I always wanna choke someone, but dang ... show some restraint cuz you'll lose it all in a hot second of rage.

I already had to forgive Clinton for Monica, Kobe for his Colorado bimbo, and T.I. for arming himself with AK-47s allegedly to protect himself. I can't take another idiot.